In the dining-saloon I sit at a table with three other men; Laura sits
some way oft with a married couple and their daughter. I can
observe her without her knowing, and this gives me pleasure, for
it is as in a moving picture that I can note the grace of her gestures,
whether she raises a glass of wine to her lips or turns with a
remark to one of her neighbours or takes a cigarette from her
case with those slender fingers. I have never had much of an eye
for noticing the clothes of women, but I get the impression that
Laura is always in grey and white by day, looking cool when other
people are flushed and shiny in the tropical heat; in the evening
she wears soft rich colours, dark red, olive green, midnight blue,
always of the most supple flowing texture. I ventured to say
something of the kind to her, when she laughed at my clumsy
compliment and said I had better take to writing fashion articles
instead of political leaders.
在餐厅里，我同另外三个男人围坐在一张桌子旁，而劳拉同一对夫妇及他们的女儿一块儿坐在离我不远的地方。我可以观察她而不让她发觉，这使我觉得开心，因为我可以像看电影一样地欣赏她优雅的动作，不论是举杯送到唇边，还是扭头与邻座交谈，抑或是用她那纤细的手指从烟盒中夹取香烟的动作。我向来不太会欣赏也不大注意女人的衣着，但我却有这样的印象：劳拉白天总穿着灰色和白色的衣服，因而当别人被热带的高温烘烤得红光满面时，她看上去却给人一种清爽的感觉。到了晚间，她又总是穿着深红、橄榄绿、深蓝等色调柔和富丽、质料柔软光滑的衣服。当我不揣冒昧地将这话对她讲时，她对我这种笨拙的恭维报以开心的大笑，还说我最好不再写什么政坛人物的述评文章而改行专写时装评论算了。
※ 那个名叫达里波的高个子上校看样子是个好相处的人。他和我同劳拉及一个竟被人称呼为麦尔维尔夫人的中国妇女凑成一桌桥牌，四人搭档。这样，晚饭后，当其他的人在甲板上跳舞时，我们便用打牌来消遣个把小时。上校不是个令人讨厌的帝国的卫道士，他经常找我谈论一些国家大事。他说他以前常读我写的文章；他说话温文尔雅，彬彬有礼，一开口总是先来上一句“当然， 1 / 10
我没有资格建议您……”接下来他就会明确地谈他该如何处置关于某项国内或外交事务的意见。他决不算愚笨，也绝谈不上孤陋寡闻，只是可能有一点偏执，政治思想上极端右倾保守，但我对他颇有好感，因而尽量不提出一些只会使他露出困惑的神色的见解，以免使他难堪。况且，我也不想陷入讨论的旋涡。我有趣地发觉，自己过去除偶尔借诗歌或音乐消遣放松一下外，一心专注的世界大事现在不仅是索然无味，而且简直是令人厌烦了。
这无疑是自己受某种本能的驱使，要贪婪地用一些过去无暇享受的赏心乐事来填补自己生命中的最后几周，释放那些在过去虽受到压抑但一直潜伏在自己心中的欲望。也许是劳拉的无意的影响唤起了我心中的欲望。
Dismissive as Pharisee, I regarded as moonlings all those whose life was lived on
a less practical plane. Protests about damage to 'natural beauty' froze me wit,
contempt, for I believed in progress and could spare no regrets for a lake dammed
into hydraulic use for the benefit of an industrial city in the . And so it was for all
things. A hard materialism was my creed, accepted as a law of progress; any
ascription of disinterested motives aroused not only my suspicion but my scorn.
※ 过去，我像法利赛人一样自以为是，轻视别人。只要别人的生活不像我这么讲求实际，我就把他们看作月球居民。对于人们因“大自然的美”遭到破坏而提出的抗议我嗤之以鼻，因为我相信文明的进步的合理性。对于为了利用水力使内地某个工业城市受益而在某个湖泊上筑起拦湖大坝这种事情我根本不觉得遗憾。对一切事物我都是这种态度。我信仰绝对的实用主义，并将其看作是人类进步的自然法则。任何人若标榜自己的行为出于
无私的动机，那不仅会引起我的怀疑，而且会引起我的轻蔑。
And now see how I stand, as sentimental and sensitive as any old maid doing
water-colour s of sunsets! I once flattered myself that I was an adult man; I now
perceive that I am gloriously and abolescently silly. A new , loving what I have
despised, and suffering from calf-love into the bar gain, I want my till of beauty
before I go. Geographically I did not care and scarcely know where I am. There are no
signposts in the sea.
可是看看现在的我吧，竟然像一个老处女正用水彩画着西下的残阳，十分地多愁善感!我曾自诩为老成持重，现在却意识到自己原来这么幼稚无知。就像 2 / 10
那个改弦易辙的克洛维一样，我竟然对自己过去所鄙视的一切开始热爱起来，并且还要遭受少年初恋的痛苦。我想在离开人世之前尽情享受一切美好的东西。我不知道也不想知道自己身处何方。茫茫大海无路标。
※ 今夜的一弯新月仰面斜躺在天空，这是月亮在热带地区常见的姿势。在我看来，这种姿势对一个少女来说虽说有些不雅，但却还是适宜的。没有哪一颗星星不愿飞射下来
接受邀请做她的情人。当船上的其他乘客最后一个个都回舱就寝之后，我一个人又悄悄爬上空荡荡的甲板，滑人游泳池，在水面上浮游着。这时我已不再是人们所熟悉的那位在远洋海轮上度假的中年记者了，而是一个无拘无束的沐浴着天池神水的自由快乐的人，就像神话中那位有天神作父亲并有一双奥林匹斯山诸神所赐的观察人世的慧眼的年轻健壮的恩底弥翁。我只觉身体四肢轻飘飘的没有任何重量，并且和夜的世界合为一体。我悟出了泛神论的真正意义。我的那些朋友们若知道我已变成这样，他们不知会笑成什么样子!在享受着这暖风浴肤，凉水托体所带来的清新快感时，我相信我的心灵也得到了净化，丢弃了凡人皆有的种种弱点，变得不会嫉妒，没有野心，没有恶意，与世无争。照我想象，那些虔诚的教徒在做完庄严的忏悔仪式离开忏悔室时，他们心灵得到净化的感觉一定就像我此时的感觉一样。
Sometimes Laura and I lean over the taffrail , and that is happiness. It may be by
daylight, looking at the sea, rippled with little white ponies, or with no ripples at all
but on-ly the lazy satin of blue, marbled at the edge where the passage of our ship
has disturbed it. Or it may be at night, when the sky surely seems blacker than ever
at home and the stars more golden. I recall a phrase from the diary of a half-literate
soldier, ‘ The stars seemed little cuts in the black cover, through which a bright
beyond was seen.' Sometimes these untaught scribblers have a way of putting things.
※ 有时，劳拉和我一起倚在船尾栏杆上，这对我是一种幸福。倘是在白天，我们凭栏远眺大海，只见海面上时而翻卷起白色的浪花，时而平静得宛若一幅微微飘动起伏着的蓝色缎面，完全见不到翻起的浪花，只有我们的轮船驶过之处才泛起一道道如大理石般的波纹。若是在夜晚，我们翘首望天，这儿的夜空比故乡的更黑，星光却显得更加璀璨。此时此景令我不由想起一个粗通文墨的士兵在日记中写的这样一句话：“星星看起来就像一个黑锅盖上挖的许多 3 / 10
小窟窿，透过这些小窟窿可以看见锅盖外面的亮光。”有时候那些没念过书的人信笔涂鸦写的东西倒也有那么两下子。
The wireless told us today that there is fog all over .
据无线电广播，今天全英格兰弥漫着大雾。
Sometimes we follow a coastline, it may be precipitous bluffs of grey limestone
rising sheer out of the sea, or a low-lying arid stretch with miles of white sandy beach,
and no sign of habitation, very bleachedand barren. These coasts remind me of
people; either they are forbidding and unapproachable , or else they present no
mystery and show all they have to give at a glance, you feel the country would
continue to be flat and featureless however far you penetrated inland. What I like
best are the stern cliffs, with ranges of mountains soaring behind them, full of
possibilities, peaks to be scaled only by the most daring. What plants of the high
altitudes grow unravished among their crags and valleys? So do I let my imagination
play over the recesses of Laura's Character, so austere in the foreground but
nurturing what treasures of tenderness, like delicate flowers, for the discovery of the
venturesome.
※ 有时，我们的轮船沿着海岸线航行。时而是突拔而起的石灰岩峭壁，时而是地势低洼连绵数英里的茫茫沙滩，渺无人迹，凄惨荒凉。这种海岸景象使我联想到这样一些人，他们或者是令人望而生畏，难以接近，或者是无秘可隐，让人一眼就可看穿。看见这些海岸，你会产生这样的感觉：不论你向内陆腹地深人多远，那里的土地都将和岸边一样平淡无奇。我最喜爱的是岸边的那些悬崖峭壁及其背后的那高耸云端、神秘莫测的峰峦叠嶂，那山峰只有最英勇无畏的人才能够攀登上去。在崇山峻岭之间人迹未至的石隙和幽谷中生长着的是一些什么样的高原植物呢?我也这样地让自己的想象力尽情地探索劳拉性格深处的秘密。她的性情表面上严肃冷峻，但她内心里却蕴育着丰富温柔的情感，宛如娇嫩的花朵，等待着勇士去发现。
My fellow-passengers apparently do not share my admiration.
‘Drearee sorter cowst,' said an Australian. ‘Makes you Iong for a bit of green. '
同船的其他乘客们显然不能以我这样的眼光去欣赏海岸上的景色。
4 / 10
“这海岸景象真是荒凉，”一位澳大利亚人说。“它让人渴望见到一点绿色。”
Darkness falls, and there is nothing but the intermittent g1eam of a 1iahthouse
on a solitary promontory .
※ 夜幕降临，四野茫茫，唯见一处荒凉的岬角的一座灯塔上的航标灯忽明忽暗地闪烁着。
We rounded just such a cape towards sunset, the most easterly point of a
continent, dramatically high and lonely, a great purple mountain overhung by a great
purple cloud. The sea had turned to a corresponding dusk of lavender . Aloofad on
the top, the yellow 1iaht revolved, steady, warning; I wondered what mortal
controlled it, in what must be one of the loneliest, most forbidding spots on Earth.
Haunted too, for many wrecks had piled up on the reefs in the past, when there was
no beacon to guide them.
※ 日落时分，我们的轮船正好绕过这样一个海角，它位于一块大陆的最东端，是一座孤峰高耸的紫色大山，山顶上笼罩着大片紫色的云雾。海水也相应地变成了淡紫色。山顶上，黄色的航标灯不停地旋转着，向过往船只发出警示信号。我心中好奇，在这也许称得上世界上最荒僻最危险的地方，究竟是什么样的人在那里看守着灯塔呢?那一带还是鬼魂出没的地方，因为在过去没有指航灯指航的岁月里，那儿的礁石上堆满了遇难船只的残骸。
The Colonel joined us.
‘How would you care for that man's job?' he said.
‘I suppose he sets relieved every so often?'
上校来到了我们身边。
“你觉得那人的职业怎样?''他问道。
“大概经常有人来换班吧?''
5 / 10
“恰恰相反，他一直不肯离开那儿。他是个意大利人，在那儿守了好多好多年了，与他作伴的只有一个当地妇女。一般人大概都会觉得他这人古怪，但我一想到世上居然还剩着这样几个怪人，就感到挺惬意。”
This is the unexpected kind of remark that makes me like the Colonel; there is a
touch of rough poetry about him. I like also the out-of-the-way information which he
imparts from time to time without insistence; he has traveled much, and has used his
eyes and kept his ears open. I have discovered also that he knows quite a lot about
sea-birds; he puts me right about the different sorts of gull, and tells me very nicely
that that couldn't possibly be an albatross , not in these waters. The albatross, it
appears, follows a ship only to a certain latitude and then turns back; it know show
far it should go and no farther. How wise is the albatross! We might all take a lesson
from him, knowing the latitude we can permit ourselves. Thus, and no farther, can I
foIlow Laura. I suspect also that there is quite a lot of lore stored away in the
Colonel's otherwise not very interesting mind. Laura likes him too, and although I
prefer having her to myself I don't really resent it when he lounges up to make a
third.
这种}义论有点出人意料，也正是这一点使我对上校产生了好感，他这人还颇有一点朴素的诗人气质呢。我也喜欢他经常主动讲给我们听的一些奇闻怪事。他走南闯北，见多识广。我还发现他有关海鸟的知识也很丰富，他教我识别不同种类的海鸥，还很有礼貌地告诉我那只鸟不可能是信天翁，这片海域不会有信天翁。信天翁似乎只跟随轮船飞到一定的纬度就折回，它知道自己应该走多远，到了极限距离就决不向前多走一步。信天翁有多么明智啊!我们都应该向信天翁学习，认明自己行动所应达到的极限。我追劳拉也只能追到此为止了，决不能再跨前一步。我想，这方面的知识上校的头脑里一定也装着不少，尽管他的头脑在其他方面并不令人感到有趣。劳拉也喜欢他，尽管我想独占劳拉，但当他漫步走过来成为第三者时，我并没有对他产生反感。
※ 在这一片无比宁静的大海上，我们就连一艘其他的船只也难得见到。欢乐的海豚和那些吱吱叫的小飞鱼是这片广阔天地的主人。当它们再也看不到那载着我们驶入它们的视线又很快消失的怪物时，“这些与鸟儿有点相似的小飞鱼”肯定高兴得很。船过水合，毫无痕迹，似乎我们从未经过那儿似的。但是，偶尔也会有一座岛屿出现在远处地平线上，我们不知其名，令人充满着神秘之 6 / 10
感，它是海底山脉之顶峰，显得孤独、无暇、遥远。人们喜爱岛屿，是不是因为在难以驾驭的广袤的世界之中有这么些易于治理的小块领地，就不知不觉地要占为己有呢?想到那座岛屿一直屹立在那里(除非它确实只不过是耐心的珊瑚虫的作品)，而且仍将继续屹立在原地不动，假若我们能返回原地，将会发现它还在那里等待着我们。当我想到这些时，我有一种奇特的感觉，为什么会这样，我也说不清。当我看到一幅照片，比如说中国内地某河谷的照片并发现一块大漂石时，我也会产生这样的感觉。我想，如果能把我送到那块大漂石的所在地，我就能实实在在地触摸一下那块大漂石……那块漂石屹立在原地，等待着
我，我可以坐在那块漂石上。我不善于表达自己的感受，我所要说明的这种感觉我也不敢指望除劳拉外的任何人能理解。但人的心灵深处本来就充满着这样一些不可言传的隐秘古怪的念头。
哇，那些海岛!为了消愁解闷，我开始想象岛上生活的情景。令我觉得有趣的是，我发现我的想象总是竭力靠近田园诗般的生活。这完完全全是另一个爱德蒙?卡尔。假如我们看见一叶扁舟靠向海岛的岸边，我的想象便随着那扁舟上的渔夫而去，看着他把船推上小海湾的沙滩，接着发出一声海鸟的叫唤，向家中人通报他的归来，他的女人马上出门迎接他。他们都很年轻，皮肤是金褐色的。她从他手中接过捕捞的鱼，他们那间茅草编成的棚屋里充满着健康和爱。
One night we passed two islands, steeply humped against faint reflected
moonlight; and on each of them, high up, shone a steady yellow gleam.
有一天夜里，我们驶过了两座海岛，在海水反射的昏黄的月色映照下，海岛呈现出陡峭的驼峰形轮廓，两个海岛的峰顶上都闪烁着一种稳定的黄色的微光。
‘Not lighthouses.' I said to Laura. ‘Villages.'
We gazed, as the ship slid by and the humps receded into darkness and even the
lights were obscured by the shoulder of a hill, never to be seen by us again. So
peaceful and secret; so self-contained .
One of the ship's officers joined us, off duty.
“不是灯塔，”我对劳拉说。“是村落。”
7 / 10
我们注目凝视着，轮船这时已渐渐从岛边滑过，海岛的驼峰形轮廓也渐渐消失在一片黑暗中，连岛上的闪光都给一个山肩挡住，从我们的视线中永远地消失了。多么宁静、隐秘而又深沉。
船上的一名下了班的高级船员走过来加入了我们的谈话。
Yes, 'he said, following our gaze. ‘One of them is a leper colony and the other a
penal settlement.'
God, is there no escape from suffering and sin?
“没错，”他顺着我们的目光望去，一边说，“其中的一个村落是麻风病患者聚居点，另一个是犯人劳改营。”
天哪，难道就没有办法摆脱苦难和罪恶吗?
※ 劳拉和我还有一种白娱的方法，就是等着观看太阳从地平线上消失的那一瞬间产生的一道绿色的闪光。这种绿色的闪光不是每天都能看到的，只有当天空没有一丝云彩时
才能看到，而云彩却又特别喜欢沿着日落的轨道聚集。每当我们的这一游戏成功(即看到绿光)时，我们就会像孩子般的兴高采烈，劳拉还会不住的拍手。那道绿色光芒一闪即逝。我们等着看这道绿光时，太阳宛如被刀子切去一半的红球，随即坠落到每日的归宿之处。接着便见大海和天空上出现一片茫茫的暮色(有人说，在这种纬度的地区的海面上，夜幕总是突如其来地降临，我们发现这种说法是错误的)，深红色的海面渐渐变成了一块块蓝绿色的草坪，天空则变成了一块柔和的浅红色和蓝色的调色板。但最使我们喜悦的还是那道绿色的闪光。
‘creme de menthe , ' says Laura
‘Jade, ' I say.
‘ Emerald , ' says Laura. ' Jade is too opaque
‘Vicious viridian , ' I say, not to be outdone .
'You always did lose yourself in the pleasure of words
Edmund. Say green as jealousy and be done with it.'
8 / 10
‘I have never known the meaning of jealousy.'
“薄荷酒色，”劳拉说。
“裴翠色，”我说。
“鲜绿色，”劳拉说，“裴翠色太暗了。”
“墨绿色，”我不想输给她，又说了一句。
“爱德蒙，你一咬文嚼字起来总是那么忘乎所以。干脆就说绿得发青叫人嫉妒好了，别再争下去了。”
“我可从来不知道什么是嫉妒。”
I am sorry to see the sun go, for one of the pleasures I have discovered is the
warmth of his touch on my skin. At home in London I never noticed the weather,
unless actually inconvenienced by fog or rain; I had no temptation to take a flying
holiday to the South and understood little when people spoke or wrote of sunlight on
white walls. Now the indolence of southern latitudes has captured me. I like to see
dusky men sitting about doing nothing. I like the footfall of naked feet in the
dust,
silent as a oat passing. I like turning a corner from the shade of a house into the full
torrid glare of an open space. I put my hand on metal railings and snatch it away,
burnt. But it is seldom that I go ashore.
※ 看到太阳落下去了，我感到惋惜，因为我发觉温暖的阳光照到皮肤上是令人舒心惬意的。在家乡伦敦时，我从来不去注意天气情况，除非是雨和雾确实给我带来了不便。我又从未想过去南方作一次短暂的旅行，因此也不大理解别人谈论或描写阳光洒满白墙的情景。而现在南纬地带懒洋洋的气氛深深地吸引着我。我喜欢看那些晒得黑黝黝的男人无所事事地闲坐着的样子，我喜欢听人们打赤脚踩踏在尘土中所发出的像猫儿一样轻的脚步声，我喜欢绕过一个屋角时从房屋的阴影中一步跨人在烈日照射下赤热耀眼的空旷场地时的感觉。我刚把手搭到金属栏杆上立刻便缩了回来，烫得要命。但我很少上岸。
I would never have believed in the simple bliss of being, day after day, at sea.
Our ports of call are few, and when they do occur I resent them. I should like this
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empty existence to be prolonged beyond calculation. In the ship's library
stands a
large globe whose function so far as I am concerned is to reveal the proportion of
ocean to the landmasses of the troubled would; the Pacific alone dwarfs all the
continents put together. Blue, the colour of peace. And then I like all the small noises
of a ship: the faint creaking, as of the saddle-leather to a horseman riding across turf ,
the slap of a rope, the hiss of sudden spray . I have been exhilarated by two days of
storm, but above all I love these long purposeless days in which I shed all that I have
ever been.
※ 若非有了这一回的亲身经历，我永远也不会相信日复一日地航行于大海上竟会是这样的其乐无穷。我们的船停靠的港口很少，真正停靠港口时，我也只感到厌烦。我宁愿这种洒脱的海上生活永无休止地持续下去。船上的图书室里放着一架巨大的地球仪，照我看来，它的作用就是展示海洋与动荡不安的世界上的陆地之间的比例，仅一个太平洋就比所有的大陆加在一起还要大。蓝色，和平的颜色。而且我也喜欢船上的一切轻微的声响：
那如同草地上奔驰的骑手耳中听到的鞍皮发出的吱嘎声，绳索的拍打声以及浪花飞溅的嘶嘶声。两天的暴风雨使我欣喜万分，但我首先喜欢的还是这漫长的无所事事的日子，在这些日子里，我抛弃了旧我，脱胎换骨，获得了新生。
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